Wesley's Name Joke

The Wesley's Name Joke is the longest running inside joke in PWN history. In episodes of PWN and PostPWN, the hosts introduce themselves in turn, but Wesley uses a comedic expression in place of his name.

Description

The joke is very simple in concept. Every episode of PWN begins with the members of the trio introducing themselves, beginning with the leftmost speaker, then Nick, and then lastly Wesley. While Nick and the other members all say their names, Wesley says a joke correlating to the episode's topic in place of "Wesley". This is not always true, however, as sometimes, the name does not relate to the topic of discussion at all, as is the case in many of Ari's PWN's.

List of Wesley's Names

PWN (2014-2019)

The following is a list of Wesley's names, chronologically by episode.

I'm Paul, I'm Nick, ...

1. ...and I am not associated with these people.
2. ...and I was forced to do this.
3. ...and I'm Batman!

I'm Ford, I'm Nick, ...

4. ...and I'm the only ethnically diverse person left.
5. ...and I'm your father.

I'm Ari, I'm Nick, ...

6. ...and you can't tell if I'm wearing pants!
7. ...and I'm bluhblbublbhblubbru.
8. ...and I'm glottal-glottal-glottal-glottal-glottal-stop-stop-stop-stop-stop.
10. ...and the first rule of PWN #9 is don't talk about PWN #9.
11. ...And I'm... I'm... I'm Rogue... Rogue One.
12. ...and let's spaghetti out of here!
13. ...and how high are you?
14. ...and let's talk about Taquitos!
15. ...and you are NOT Batman's father!
16. ...Andddddy Serkis (wee wee I'm a monkey, wee wee).
17. ...and a bad feeling about this have I.
18. ...and I'm Wesl-Dununundunundun *X-Files Theme*"
19. ...and hi! VSauce! Michael here!
20. ...and MyLittlePony! My little...
21. ...and you're watching Disney Channel!
22. ...and I liked the old logo better.
23. ...and I don't want to see gnome more gnome movies.
24. ...and f*ck you Stephen.
25. ...and I’m a good fella.
27. ...and you’re a fantastic beasts, Harry.
28. ...and I don’t have a name, just like the movies we’re gonna talk about.
30. ...and I’m the Dark Knight... Rises.
31. ...and I haven't thought of a name... or maybe that's the name I thought of.
32. ...and I don't exist, just like the host of the Oscars.
33. ...and I'm Squidward.
34. ...and I'm sorry to bother you, and you were never really here, and, Bohemian Rhapsody.
35. ...and I'm sure you're wondering why I brought you here today.
36. ...and hi inevitable, I'm Dad!
38. ...and snow to see you, this is ice joke... I messed it up.
39. ...and... woah.
40. ...and stop feeding me lines from Monsters Inc., it pisses me off!
41. ...and I'm Terrence Howard!
42. ...and you butter believe it!
43. ...and I'm Wesley.

I'm Joey, I'm Nick, ...
26. ...and I’ll be there man.
29. ...and today on PWN we are talking about Netflix Originals, so... this is PWN number twenty-nine.
37. ...and we're not using this footage... or are we?

Additional Names

Several other attempts at the joke can be seen both on PWN and in the accompanying blooper videos.

In PWN 3.5, which is not technically considered an episode so much as an announcement video, Wesley says "...and I didn't think of another name to call myself, because today is serious day." In PWN 38.5, Wesley says "...and I don't wanna be here!", referencing the fact the trio are performing on a rock in Crater Lake.

In the initially unseen Our Fandoms: PWN #4, which was later released as a subscriber special, Wes concludes with "...and I'm a high functioning sociopath", in reference to his chosen fandom, Sherlock. In the also unreleased Best of 2014: PWN 4, Wes says "...and I hate Interstellar".

In the blooper video for PWN #6, a large portion of the video is composed of failed attempts at filming this intro to the video. Ari makes several attempts to say "Hi, I'm here" or "I'm Jesus", despite Nick's attempts to stop him. Additionally, Wesley tries out several different names himself. Among them are "...and I'm making out with a bunny rabbit", "...and hello from the outside!", and the source of the video's title, "...and I'm a Cheezit".

In PWN 16, the first minute of the video features several other versions of Wesley's name. These include "...and I like turtles", "...and this is literally our tenth time trying to start this PWN", and "...and I'm a Tasteless Asshole". The episode also features an alternate opening where all three members say "Hi I'm Nick".

PostPWN (2019-)

Beginning in October of 2019, the PostPWN podcast features the same introductory lines that PWN did. Wesley's name joke continues.

Season One

I'm Ari, I'm Nick, ...

1. ...and I'm morbidly obese.
2. ...and the first rule of Don of the Damned is don't talk about Don of the Damned.
3. ...and I'm John Craven.
4. ...and go fuck yourself.
5. ...and Elizabeth Warren.
6. ...and I'm Papa John.
7. ...and Silencio.
8. ...and my name is Lester Burnham... Bo Burnham... and I forget the rest of the monologue.
9. ...and Happy New Year!
10. ...and what's your name?
11. ...and I'm Golden Globe.
12. ...and the Fair Play for Cuba.
13. ...and.
14. ...and I'm Paul.
15. ...and gesundheit.

Season Two

I'm Ari, I'm Nick, ...

16. ...and I'm Rey Star Wars
17. ...and I'm Stelkep.
18. ...and who is Frank Frederickson?
19. ...and I'm Wes, or how I learned to stop quarantining and love the virus.
20. ...and I'm a duck.
21. ...and I've got five kids to feed.
22. ...and holy sardines! Welcome back to PWN.
23. ...and I-reland.
24. ...and I'm baby Yoda.
25. ...and serve the nuts.
26. ...and I'm not whispering.
27. ...and Malkovich Malkovich.
28. ...and ask me how I'm doing, Nick.
29. ...and there is a new Wakaliwood movie called Crazy World, movie movie movie!
30. ...and I'm Nicolas Cage playing Wesley Davies.

Season Three

I'm Ari, I'm Nick, ...

31. ...and F. Scott... *Breaks into laughing fit*
32. ...and Time Travel Toilet – he was the father of all characters!
33. ...and to prepare for this episode, I spent the last week in my room staring at a computer, only talking to pictures of my two co-hosts, because I am method-podcaster.
34. ...and I'm Podcaster Man.
35. ...and I'm Batemane!
36. ...and always wear a nasty white necktie!
37. ...and I'm Wesl- I'm kidding! I'm kidding!
38. ...and here comes the money!
39. ...and I'm Pickle Wes!
40. ...and no, this is Patrick!
41. ...and I'm Hotshot.
42. ...and I'm banana.
43. ...and teneT m'I.
44. ...and I'm a grill person.
45. ...and, Carol, hello!

Season Four

I'm Ari, I'm Nick, ...

46. ...and I'm in the mood for a new season of PostPWN, baby. 47. ...and I'm Sea Wolf! 48. ...and

Inter-seasonal Episodes of PostPWN

These names were used in the inter-season episodes of PostPWN.

I'm Ari, I'm Nick, ...

• The Fifth Annual PWNIE Awards – ...and respect!
• A PostPWN Battle Royale – ...and I still haven't figured out a name for this episode yet.
• Interstellar – ...and itsa-me, Mario Mario!

Wendal

The "Wendal joke" arrose durring the recording of Monster Movies: PWN 2, when Nick pointed out that nobody referred to Wes by name in the first episode, and someone may jokingly speculate that the W in PWN stands for Wendal.

This is again referred to in "I'm a Cheezit: PWN 6 Extras", when Nick mentions the joke to Wes when Wes jokingly says "they don't know what my name is". Wes, having forgot the joke, is taken aback with laughter. The joke is also heard in the sixth episode itself, during the outro. Wes says his name, Nick says "It's Wendal", then Wes says "I just told them my... Pineapple". This joke is also referred to in other PWNs.

In the opening to the first part of Hollywood is Dead: PWN 10, Wes calls Nick, and we see the screen reads that a call is coming in from "Wendal".

Wes is credited as "Wendal T. Davies" in Mr. Salami Reviews A Hot Lead.

See Also

• Sellout Screen - Another running gag featured in many episodes of PWN